Australian media strikes again…
the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you.
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
screaming so loud when sugar were going down comes on the radio that it becomes 2005 again
When your girlfriend tries to hold your hand before marriage